Dressing Up

by Renee Chen


Growing up, I always dreaded Halloween. Weeks in advance people would ask if I’d chosen a costume, and I’d always reply,

“Oh, you know, I’m not really into dressing up.”

To be fair, it’s not as celebrated in China – not that I’d really know, having been in Canada most of my life.

Really, I had this weird complex about costumes. I always felt like I wasn’t allowed to dress up as a character who wasn’t Asian, but that left so little to choose from. I couldn’t be just any character, I had to be the ‘Asian version.’ I was one of two Asian kids in my class, and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb, even if no one else thought the same.

Dressing up is supposed to be fun, I guess, but I got to play pretend every day. I pretended to understand all the references that all my friends made, I played the role of a ‘normal’ kid. I was already inauthentic, in every way.

–(Years later, way after I’d gotten too old to be dressing up, I mentioned this to a couple of my friends; some Asian, some not.

“Really?” they all said. “I don’t know, I never felt like that.”

As more and more Asian characters are introduced in popular franchises, I begin to wonder where all these role models were when I was a kid.

I wonder how many of the insecurities of my childhood actually had anything to do with people judging me by race, and how much of it was just me.)

Chimera

by Weiwei Xu



You know 叶公好龙 (ye gong hao long)? That’s my comic in a nutshell. 叶公好龙 is a 4-word Chinese idiom based on a story about a dude who loves dragons soooo much he had them painted on all of his walls. Then one day, a real dragon comes down to thank him for his love, and he freaks out because he only liked images of dragons – the real thing was too much for him to handle. I’m him, and the dragon is China – I feel like a fake fan sometimes because I love being the Token Asian in Canada, but China feels alien to me.

Home

by Lilly Taing



My comic is a small reflection on my experiences growing up Chinese Cambodian American in Los Angeles and living in between these cultures. While I have always struggled to feel like I belong in any one of these identities, it helped teach me how to appreciate the diverse experiences and beliefs that shape United States all into who we are.