In the story of the Mahabharata, there was a young archer named Ekalavya who went to the great master Dronacharya to become his disciple. Drona refused, as he had a duty to teach only the royal princes and this boy was of lower caste.
Not to be dissuaded, Ekalavya built a clay idol of Drona and treated it as if it was actually his mentor, and practiced archery until he was a master at it.
One day one of the crown princes, Arjuna, was in the forest hunting when he came across proof of Ekalavya’s skill: Ekalavya had come across a dog and irritated with its barking, quieted it by stuffing its mouth with many arrows; enough to quiet it but not enough to hurt it.
Arjuna sees the dog and is intrigued, seeking out Ekalavya and asking him his secret. Ekalavya says his master is Drona, surprising and infuriating Arjuna. Arjuna angrily demands answers from Drona, asking why a more talented archer claims to be his student.
Dronacharya approaches Ekalavya out of curiosity. When he sees Ekalavya’s skill as well as dedication to him through the clay idol, he believes Ekalavya is a superior archer to Arjuna. He asks Ekalavya for his thumb for Guru- Dakshina, the mentorship fee. Though complying would rob Ekalavya of his ability to use a bow, he obeys without question.
—
four fingers and a stump, always bleeding
–
pinky: was i born a stillborn, ma? because that’s all i feel like nowadays
cold and small
my lungs are full of fluid and my mouth full of arrows and i don’t know how i can ever scream again.
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ring: he asked for your thumb and you gave it to him, didn’t you
you tried to slice it clean but the knife always sinks down jagged, doesn’t it
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middle: call me the bitch by the side of the road
mouth forced agape with sharp headed points embedded in my
blaspheming tongue
heavy heart
but not a drop of blood to show.
–
index: senseless death: the drought never seems to end
parched brown soil
curled upwards in thirst
inwards in shame
an archer without a thumb
an artist with no beating heart
a girl with no sense
–
thumb: i put myself out of my own misery