A letter from a mother, conveying the deep impact of western religion on her life as both a source of bias and a source of hope.
딸아.
I had a dream when you were still a whisper of life, a small, gleaming light in the darkness of my belly. Everyone laughed when I told them my dream. They said I needed to stop going to church before I started seeing Jesus at the supermarket, or getting scammed into buying million dollar holy water that can cure lepers. Your father looks at me with pity and disgust. Your siblings do not look at me. They tell me more and more that I am too old, that I must be stupid, that I would make a mistake.
But no matter what anyone says of me, I know. I am not stupid, and I am not crazy. For the first time in my life, I could see the path before me.
너는 실수가 아니다.
In my dream, I saw the Virgin Mary. She loomed over me, saw the swelling of my stomach, saw you. She looked west. Her vast arm reached across the earth and pointed to America. Her eyes twinkled. What the Virgin Mary knew, I realized then. Korea would be too small for you, just as your own family insists on constricting you into nothingness. The intolerance of the people here is toxic, and you would grow up with poison in your lungs. You did not belong here but in the safety and opportunities of America, where you would flourish into a brilliant woman.
The Virgin Mary bathed us in a warm light. All my worries and burdens felt childish. And I decided to keep you.
은총이 가득하신 마리아님, 기뻐하소서!
주님께서 함께 계시니 여인 중에 복되시며
태중의 아들 예수님 또한 복되시나이다.
천주의 성모 마리아님,
이제와 저희 죽을 때에
저희 죄인을 위하여 빌어주소서.
아멘